Children Helpline

Parents usually forget that they were children themselves, and therefore it is difficult for them to imagine how their own children are feeling when they witness their parents aruging. Parent fighting with each other shows how actually powerless and hurt they feel at that moment. Often their emotions are so hightened that they can’t think clearly  think that they can resolve things by using power. You are not guilty that your parents are fighting! It is important that when your parents are calm, You tell them how frightened and desperate You feel hearing and seeing their arguments.

It is important that you understand – it is not ok to abuse someone and scream at them all the time!  Even if sometimes you do something wrong, make a mistake, and the other person is angry – it is ok to be angry but it is not ok to release their anger in such a way.  It could help if you would ask – why are you yelling? And tell that person about your emotions, how unpleasant and hurt you feel when they talk to you like this. Do not look for Your guilt in this situation  – whatever You have done – no one has rights to hurt You not emotionally, not physically.

Unfortunately sometimes adults can not resolve their disagreements and they decide to divorce. It is important to remember that even after a divorce the parents continue to love their child and You should not be afraid of telling them how You are feeling. Divorce is a decision made by two adults that were in a relationship, it is definitely not your fault!

Any addiction is excruciating for an addict and his relatives. Therefore, it is important not to turn away and disapprove the addict but look mutually for the help. It does not mean to salvage him, to sustain his addiction or hide it from the others. It means to be together with him to make him feel important and encourage him to seek the professional help. To overcome an addiction is a team work where the prior participant is an addict with assisting proper specialists and relatives. Remember that You can not reorganize and sacrifice all Your life for the addict. Usually relatives themselves need a professional help and do not get confused if You need it, too because life with and addict in the family can be extremely difficult for family members.

This kind of parting for some period of time is accompanied with sadness, longing and loneliness. Both, the one who stays at home and the one who has left it, feels lost and it is the time when it is very important to feel the support and understanding from the other relatives and also keeping in contact with the person who has left. If you are left all alone, with no guardian or any adult who can take care of you, you need to ask for help to adult that you trust – this information needs to be reported to social services and orphan’s court so they can help you to resolve this situation.

Generally falling in love involves excitement – pleasant, with an elated mood. Hovever if you are confused and not sure what you feel (and not sure what other person feels) this can turn into unpleasant emotions, anxiety, confusement, etc. Liking someone can bring up so many questions - will I be rejected, will this person like me back, how he/she will perceive me, will he/she laugh at me or hurt me? Sometimes people have a lot of negative thoughts about themselves that are not even remotely true – don’t let yourself bring you down! If you want to tell them about your feelings, do it step by step, observe their reactions, be kind to yourself and don’t rush. Sometimes it’s hard to carry all of these emotions with you so try writing in a journal or talking to someone about your feelings.

As much as we would like to all our relationship to work out, it is not always possible – sometimes people have different values and points of view, sometimes they outgrow each other, and connection is just lost, sometimes it’s an argument or something that created a differences that two people are not able to overcome – whatever the reason is, sometimes people decide to go their own way and it is ok. It is understandable (especially if we were not the ones who wanted to end relationship) that a person can feel like a failure, unloved, problematic, worthless, etc., but you should accept that there are both positive and negative emotions in life, and therefore it is ordinarily that after breaking up with someone You are feeling sad, suffering and crying. One feels like being alone in such a period of time, but the other needs help from the family members, friends or trustful persons. It takes time to heal and grieve a loss – and losing relationship is truly a loss. However breaking up with someone does not mean you are not loved, strong, smart and amazing person – it just means you need time to feel like yourself again.

Each person has rights to their privacy and autonomy of their body. Anyone has a free choice to make a contact with whom he wants and where he wants.  Therefore, if you feel unpleasant and uncomfortable if someone touches you, say it clearly. Do not be afraid to say „No”! But if you still feel frightened or person does not stop when you say ‘’no’’, seek for immediate help! If similar situations happen again or you can’t get them out of your mind, you should seek the person you trust, to tell him everything and ask for a help. Don’t allow others to bully and threaten you to keep silent. That shows that the offender is frightened because he realizes that there might be consequences to their actions.

Sometimes for a variety of reasons people are acting wrongly and illegally. If someone has sexually used you or still doing that, then you should remember that there are people who care about you and are willing to help! It is not your fault! It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, how you are acting or what ‘’signals’’ other person reads from the situation you are both in. If someone manipulates you, guilts you into doing something you don’t want, tricks, bribes or forces you it is a crime! You need to get help – you can call the police, talk to your parents relatives, friends – anyone who would be willing to help you. You are not alone!

Arguments and conflicts are inevitable part of life – while being unpleasant, arguments are important – they help to learn how to resolve conflicts, acknowledge situation and other opinions, how to compromise and apologize. All these skills are important to have good relationship – if you have a conflict with someone it does not mean you are not friends or don’t like and respect each other!  Arguments and conflicts reflect how different people are and how different are their views of life, values and opinions. Yes, conflict is an emotional experience and negative emotions, but do not nourish hate and don’t always expect other to come and apologize! You don’t need to pretend that argument didn’t hurt you, but you can try to make the first step and talk about what happened, how you felt, maybe reflect on things the other person felt during your conflict – you don’t have to agree with each other on specific topics and that’s ok. If this person is important to you – talk to them, communicate, try to understand the situation from different sides and then make a decision what to do next.

With each day of life You grow up and develop. Wherewith You have questions, involving changes of Your body and its care. The first and the most relevant is to consider Your sexual hygiene. It involves regular washing up, using hygienic and cosmetic agents to make You feel comfortable and for others agreeably to keep in touch with You. When a teenager desires and has an opportunity to start a sexual experience and the relationship then it is relevant to comprehend do I really desire it right now with this person and are we ready to become a responsible about the possible consequences such as pregnancy, Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD)?  If You can answer to all these questions with „Yes”, then You should take into consideration that the appropriate contraception method for teenagers are condoms because it is the only one that protects from a pregnancy and also from STD. Besides, purchasing condoms is no age limited and You don’t need the prescription from a doctor, and You can buy it in any shop, pharmacy or stand.

If You suspect pregnancy, especially after having sex without contraception, then You can buy a pregnancy test in the pharmacy or shop and test it at home already in the 10^th day after sex. Already at the beginning of pregnancy You can establish whether Your worries have a reason. If the test shows pregnancy then You should visit gynecologist to approve it medically. Further You will have informative talk with the gynecologist and contemplation whether You save the pregnancy or interrupt it.

There is no such a facility that would measure and detect between people which one is beautiful and which one is ugly. It is only human made fictional conception about the beauty, because what others seem nice and beautiful, does not seem to others. The essential is to find and distinguish the unique into yourself that would make You proud! If the person observes and appreciates even the smallest detail, he will attract attention with his positive thinking and aura. No one wants to talk to someone who is being downcast or unsatisfied. This person can only awaken the grief and compassion in others.

The school is unalienable constituent part in Your life and others. It is almost like the second home, and therefore it is important that every child and teenager would feel accepted. Others don’t have the rights to reject, to laugh about and offend You, just because of Your different character, opinion, appearance, religion, turn out and Your taste of music. You should understand that offenders are not happy and satisfied with themselves, and therefore they are looking for some weak person what would make them feel strong and powerful. Happy person who feels fortunate and prosperous will give the generosity to others and will not hurt others. Therefore You should try not to avoid people who are offending You, and in a case of need, do not be afraid to look for a help from Your friends, teachers and parents.

If You are feeling lonesome and bored then You should think about what would be Your interests and what would You like to do. You should appraise the real possibilities prospective from the desirable. You should find the way to fulfill Your life – could be a hobby, extracurricular hobby group where people with common interests gather together or implementation of special traditions and activities in the family that would allow all the relatives to spend more time with each other. The possibilities exist, all You need is to choose and wade in.

If  you have received unpleasant e-mail letters or have come accross abusive materials online,  or you have noticed something suspicious, for example, with violent or incitement content or you are humiliated, or you are concerned about your safety, or you feel, that you have internet addiction, you can inform Children’s Helpline 116111, site www.drossinternets.lv or Police.