Children Hotline (CH) 116111 was established on February 1, 2006 with the aim to give a psychological help to children and teenagers who are in difficult situations. This goal – to hear out children and teenagers, learning them to speak about themselves and trust others – is still the most important work of the CH.
CH is one of the structural units of the State children rights protection inspectorate because it is every child’s right to get advice how to act in a difficult situations or support children having problems and difficulties. In the very beginning the goal of the more than 10 CH working psychologists was to gain the children’s trust. At the present moment the amount of the received calls draws to a conclusion that it has been successful. During the first working year until February 1, 2007 CH received more than 309 000 calls.
Almost every day CH receives more than thousand of calls where children of varied age ask for help or simply want to have a talk, rarely those are adults who would like to comprehend their children or grandchildren. Therefore, psychologists should manage and should be capable to speak with a different people about different issues, amongst which the most common are relations in the school, relations with parents, brothers and sisters, relations between boys and girls. However, psychologists frequently should know what to say in the unusual but difficult situations, for instance what to do in a case if one should leave a home, but his little sister stays at home and she is not capable of taking care of herself.
Children and teenagers can call CH on working days from 8.00 AM - 11.00 PM, as well as on Saturdays from 8.00 AM – 10.00 PM and Sundays from 10.00 AM - 8.00. PM. CH is a free of charge from fixed lines and mobile phones.
Frequently Asked Questions by Your equals in age:
What to do if….
1) ... parents are arguing, beat each other. Is it because of me?
2) ... one of a family members offends or beats me?
3) ... parents divorcing? Is it my fault? Can I help them?
4) ... one of a family members drinks an alcohol or uses drugs or gambles?
5) ... one of a family members went to foreign countries?
6) ... would like to take a boy’s or a girl’s fancy?
7) ... my boyfriend or girlfriend is breaking up with me? Am I not appreciated and disgraced?
8) ... my boyfriend (girlfriend), one of a family members, person in school or a stranger harasses me?
9) ... I have been sexually abused?
10) ... quarreled with one of my closest friends?
11) ... would like to consider sexual hygiene and avoid pregnancy?
12) ... suspicion of existing pregnancy?
13) ... seem ugly to myself?
14) ... have been miscalled, slandered, ridiculed, pushed or beaten up in school or elsewhere?
15) ... feeling lonesome and bored at the school and at home?
Each month Children Hotline 116111 receives call from a thousands of children and teenagers and each of them has his/her own question. It is comprehensible, if Your question is different from those listed above, because the situation of everyone in life is different. Even if You found the answer to Your question You should feel free to call and be heard out, not only to read the answers. Therefore, if You would like someone to speak to You then You can call Toll Free Children’s and Teenagers Hotline 116111 where the professional psychologists will talk to You.
1. ... parents are arguing, beat each other. Is it because of me?
The parents usually forget that they were children themselves, and therefore it is difficult for them to imagine how their own children are feeling. Parent fighting with each other shows how actually weak and powerless they are. They can not talk it over, and therefore they think that they can resolve things by using power. For all that, You are not guilty. It is important to know that in a tranquil moment You tell Your parents how frightened and desperate You feel hearing and seeing their arguments.
2. ... one of a family members offends or beats me?
There is not such a motive to allow someone to offend or beat someone, especially Your closest relatives. People should respect and love each other. Even if disagreements appeared during the day and it seems like unleashing anger on someone, it would be reasonable to talk about it and look for a way to reduce the aggression. Sometimes You simply and gently ask to Your close relative: „Why do You shout on me? Also in this situation one should point tranquilly that what he said is hurting, offending and humiliates You. Do not look for Your guilt – whatever You have done – no one has rights to hurt You not emotionally, not physically. Unlikely, that hurting someone, the offender feels happy and proud about himself.
3. ... parents divorcing? Is it my fault? Can I help them?
Unfortunately, things happen in the life that the adults can not resolve their disagreements and therefore they decide to divorce. It is not Your fault and it is doubtful that You will be able to bring together Your parents. Therefore it is important to remember that even after a divorce the parents continue to love their child and You should not be afraid of telling them how You are feeling.
4. ... one of a family members drinks an alcohol or uses drugs or gambles?
Any addiction is excruciating for an addict and his relatives. Therefore, it is important not to turn away and disapprove the addict but look mutually for the help. It does not mean to salvage him, to sustain his addiction or hide it from the others. It means to be together with him to make him feel important and encourage him to seek the professional help. To overcome an addiction is a team work where the prior participant is an addict with assisting proper specialists and relatives. Remember that You can not reorganize and sacrifice all Your life for the addict. Usually relatives themselves need a professional help and do not get confused if You need it, too.
5. ... one of a family members went to foreign countries?
This kind of parting for some period of time is accompanied with sadness, longing and loneliness. Both, the one who stays at home and the one who has left it, feels lost and it is the time when it is very important to feel the support and understanding from the other relatives and also keeping in contact with the person who has left.
6. ... would like to take a boy’s or a girl’s fancy?
Generally sympathy and falling in love is involving excitement – pleasant, with an elated mood and sometimes excruciating. Especially the excitement usually interfere to show the sympathy because there are so many questions: will I be rejected, will I take somebody’s fancy, how he/she will perceive me, will he/she laugh about and hurt me? You need a huge courage to show to someone what Your heart feels. Therefore You should think about a good and interesting in You that would attract the person You like. Every person has something that makes him/her proud and this is what You need to pay attention to. Do not hurry, start step by step. You can give a smile, say Hello or do something to make him happy. Observe his reaction and then step forward.
7. ... my boyfriend or girlfriend is breaking up with me? Am I not appreciated and disgraced?
Each of us has met the failure in building up relations. You will meet new people and will learn how to build up the relations all Your life. Even if You fail, You learn and gain from it. At the first moment the person can feel crossed, worthless and castaway. But you should accept that there are both positive and negative emotions in life, and therefore it is ordinarily that after breaking up with someone You are feeling sad, suffering and crying. One feels like being alone in such a period of time, but the other needs help from the family members, friends or trustful persons. You should not look for an offender, but You should comprehend that once You had this relationship then there is something in You that attracts others. You will meet a person who will notice and appreciate not only that but also something interesting that is only in You.
8. ... my boyfriend (girlfriend), one of a family members, person in school or a stranger harasses me?
Each person has the rights to his privacy and inviolability of his body. Anyone has a free choice to make a contact with whom he wants and where he wants. Therefore, if You feel unpleasant and uncomfortable if someone touches You, say it clearly. Do not be afraid to say „No”. But if You still feel frightened then You should seek the person You trust, to tell him everything and ask for a help. Don’t allow others to bully and threaten You to keep silent. That shows that the offender is frightened because he realizes that he is offending You.
9. ... I have been sexually abused?
Sometimes for a variety of reasons people are acting wrongly and illegally. If someone has sexually used You or still doing that, then You should remember that there are people who care about You. It is not Your fault, and therefore, You should avoid meeting with the offender and summon up Your courage to look for a help from knowing person who You can tell about ongoing.
10. ... quarreled with one of my closest friends?
Quarrels and conflicts are integral part of life, and therefore people learning successfully to resolve the conflicts are accomplishing themselves and relationships. The quarrels reflect how different people are and how different are their views of life, values and opinions. Yes, conflict is an emotional experience and negative emotions, but do not nourish hate and don’t expect always the others to come and apologize to and make it up with You. Become the first to step the first step towards the conciliation! It will only show to Your friend how important and significant he is for You.
11. ... would like to consider sexual hygiene and avoid pregnancy?
With each day of life You grow up and develop. Wherewith You have questions, involving changes of Your body and its care. The first and the most relevant is to consider Your sexual hygiene. It involves regular washing up, using hygienic and cosmetic agents to make You feel comfortable and for others agreeably to keep in touch with You. When a teenager desires and has an opportunity to start a sexual experience and the relationship then it is relevant to comprehend do I really desire it right now with this person and are we ready to become a responsible about the possible consequences such as pregnancy, Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD)? If You can answer to all these questions with „Yes”, then You should take into consideration that the appropriate contraception method for teenagers are condoms because it is the only one that protects from a pregnancy and also from STD. Besides, purchasing condoms is no age limited and You don’t need the prescription from a doctor, and You can buy it in any shop, pharmacy or stand.
12. ... suspicion of existing pregnancy?
If You suspect pregnancy, especially after having sex without contraception, then You can buy a pregnancy test in the pharmacy or shop and test it at home already in the 10th day after sex. Already at the beginning of pregnancy You can establish whether Your worries have a reason. If the test shows pregnancy then You should visit gynecologist to approve it medically. Further You will have informative talk with the gynecologist and contemplation whether You save the pregnancy or interrupt it.
13. ... seem ugly to myself?
There is no such a facility that would measure and detect between people which one is beautiful and which one is ugly. It is only human made fictional conception about the beauty, because what others seem nice and beautiful, does not seem to others. The essential is to find and distinguish the unique into yourself that would make You proud! If the person observes and appreciates even the smallest detail, he will attract attention with his positive thinking and aura. No one wants to talk to someone who is being downcast or unsatisfied. This person can only awaken the grief and compassion in others.
14. ... have been miscalled, slandered, ridiculed, pushed or beaten up in school or elsewhere?
The school is unalienable constituent part in Your life and others. It is almost like the second home, and therefore it is important that every child and teenager would feel accepted. Others don’t have the rights to reject, to laugh about and offend You, just because of Your different character, opinion, appearance, religion, turn out and Your taste of music. You should understand that offenders are not happy and satisfied with themselves, and therefore they are looking for some weak person what would make them feel strong and powerful. Happy person who feels fortunate and prosperous will give the generosity to others and will not hurt others. Therefore You should try not to avoid people who are offending You, and in a case of need, do not be afraid to look for a help from Your friends, teachers and parents.
15. ... feeling lonesome and bored at the school and at home?
If You are feeling lonesome and bored then You should think about what would be Your interests and what would You like to do. You should appraise the real possibilities prospective from the desirable. You should find the way to fulfill Your life – could be a hobby, extracurricular hobby group where people with common interests gather together or implementation of special traditions and activities in the family that would allow all the relatives to spend more time with each other. The possibilities exist, all You need is to choose and wade in.
16. ...somebody disgrace you in internet?
If you have received unpleasant e-mail letters or have come accross abusive materials online, or you have noticed something suspicious, for example, with violent or incitement content or you are humiliated, or you are concerned about your safety, or you feel, that you have internet addiction, you can inform Children’s Hotline 116111, site www.drossinternets.lv or Police.